


Mea culpa

by HighpriestessZelda



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-09-16 00:43:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16943778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HighpriestessZelda/pseuds/HighpriestessZelda
Summary: So what does happen when Faustus discovers Zeldas secret?





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 Faustus POV

Faustus had barely seen Zelda away from the academy and the few times she had called by to see his son since his birth. None of these incidences however had been time alone with her and his ever present hunger for her had now grown to intolerable levels. He missed her (although he wouldn't necessarily admit that out loud) he missed her spicy scent on his skin, he missed the look in her eyes just before he kissed her and sweet damnation did he miss the way she made him feel as though he was already burning in the pit when she touched him. Truth be told he would gladly burn in the pit for an eternity if it meant he could now have her in all the ways he had always craved. It was more than that though he missed just being with her, sharing ideas, having spirited discussions, being challenged by her at every turn and that certain spark in her eyes and curl of her lip when she was about to deliver one of her killer lines, in short he missed all of her and needed to see her urgently. It was a little risky given he was still recently widowed and he knew Zelda would be angry and confrontational if gossip about the two of them was stirred up. but he couldn’t help himself, his thirst for her completely overriding caution! He had danced this private dance of to and fro with the intoxicating Spellman matriarch for decades and now he realised he wanted more.  
It was this thought that brought him to the Spellman property at dusk that crisp winter evening, Judas was taken care of for the night with the nanny and he was free to just be. Faustus felt a a zing through his system as he approached her house, the frisson of energy searing through his system like a stimulant. His breath came out as steam in the cold air as he knocked on the door and waited feeling a little nervous. It was Ambrose who finally opened it but his look was uneasy ‘High Priest, to what do we owe the honor of this visit? His speech was rushed and his eyes furtive which did not go unnoticed by Faustus. ‘I’m here to see discuss a coven matter with Zelda’ he replied and swept over the threshold of the property past Ambrose who looked as though for a second he would block Faustus’ entrance but thought better if it at the last second.  
The High Priest raised an eyebrow and entered the Spellman house, already he could smell her enticing scent beckoning him. He heard voices coming from the kitchen and moved toward them. ‘Honestly Hilda, you’re going to have her spoiled before her 1st birthday and I will not have my daughter spoiled!!’ He stalled in his tracks..... daughter? What? He couldn’t have heard right surely he met Ambrose’s gaze and he saw terror there, why terror? A prickling feeling crept over Faustus and he was filled with dread. He raised a finger sharply to his lips signaling his order to Ambrose to stay silent. His curiosity propelled him back into motion and he moved unseen into the doorway of warm inviting kitchen and once again stopped in his tracks at the scene that greeted him. Zelda pacing the kitchen with a babe in arms bouncing the child gently while she began to sing to her, he saw the child clearly and his guts squirmed. NO it couldn't be, she wouldn't’.......?!?! He struggled to contain himself as he was hit with a cascade of emotions, he cleared his throat for attention his eyes boring into Zelda as she turned to face him. The lullaby died on her lips as the colour drained from her already pale face and almost imperceptibly she clutched the child closer to her chest in the final unspoken confirmation of his fears. Hilda began speaking quickly but he didn’t hear what she said, he didn’t want to hear from anyone but the woman his eyes still held immobile. ‘Leave us’ his tone was low and menacing directed at Hilda and Ambrose, Hilda shot a glance toward her sister and made to move to take the baby. ‘I meant leave the three of us, Zelda, I and OUR daughter apparently’ Hilda withered and scuttled off after Ambrose.  
Zeldas eyes never left his throughout this brief exchange a myriad of emotions running through them that he could read so well after knowing the witch for almost a century. Fear, sorrow, love, betrayal, calculation, determination and many others were all evident in her beautiful green eyes as he could see her quick mind attempting to formulate an explanation. He felt as though he were in free fall, he trusted her, he held in higher esteem than any other, fuck he LOVED her (did he just admit that to himself, right now?) His anger sparked and confusion reigned as he tried to reconcile it all in his mind. How could he be so wrong about her, why would she do this to him, to them? Either of them were yet to utter a word, locked in a silent conversation taking place only with their eyes, Faustus broke it ‘Explain, now!’ His command was harsh as his anger spilled over a little at her continued silence. At the same time his eyes begging for an explanation from her that right now he couldn’t fathom but that he prayed to satan would make sense of this somehow!


	2. Mea culpa 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zelda POV direct lead in from part 1! The interaction in the kitchen after Faustus discovers he has a daughter. It’s a little angsty I guess!

Zelda still hadn’t moved, she felt paralysed. The air in the kitchen which five minutes ago was warm and comforting is now cloying and it feels like she can’t catch her breath. In well over a century of knowing the man before her and playing their game Zelda had never seen the look in his eyes that clouded them now. They had always had a certain spark, playfulness and over familiarity in their exchanges but that was completely absent now. The look he held was cold and angry, it left her feeling bereft and terrified in equal measures under his scrutiny. She couldn’t seem to form any words and her mind kept flashing to the last time they had made love, it had been a sweeter experience than they usually shared, a surprise afternoon interlude spent languidly worshipping one another as opposed to the usual mixture of sexual and religious exaltation they enjoyed. Afterwards she had lay naked in his arms and felt a warmth and comfort she had never before experienced. It had frightened and elated her, she knew he was a dangerous man to develop feelings for but she hadn’t cared in that moment, she wanted it, wanted him.

‘Are you going to speak?!?’ Faustus’ harsh demand cut through her reverie. Zelda stood suddenly the baby still in her arms ‘Faustus, I would like you to meet Letitia.’ she whispered standing and taking a tentative step toward him. She didn’t know what she was doing but following her instincts was all she had at this point. His look was incredulous, she knew she had to act fast. ‘I had only your best interests at heart Faustus I swear’ her speech was rushed and her tone reverent. She moved to hand him the baby in an attempt to show an act of trust on her part although she knew she had no right. As she looked at his face his sneer and anger at her empty explanation were melted as her took his baby girl in his arms, his gaze was one of awe ‘A daughter’ was all he could manage to breathe. Zelda suddenly saw her potential opportunity to fix all of this with this small showing of a chink in his armour. Her speech was rushed as she spoke ‘She was born first Faustus, before Judas meaning she was your rightful heir. I knew the pact you had entered into with the dark lord to produce him a male heir to continue as rightful high priest and I didn’t want you punished!’  
She took a deep calming breath, so that was it, that was her position? Well she guessed it had to be now she had committed to it with her half lie and as explanations go it was the most generous to her. Faustus took a long breath and looked up at her his eyes glittering dangerously ‘AND!?!? Don’t tell me half truths Sister Zelda, I can scarcely believe I know you at all at this point!’ The use of her ‘title’ stung and last part of the sentence was delivered with such a force of emotions Zelda took a step back shocked by the depth of the feeling he conveyed, the atmosphere in the kitchen felt oppressively tight around the witch. 

Her senses were hyper alert she could see his anguish, smell his intoxicating cologne, hear his fury in his words, feel the broken trust between them and taste the next bitter words that left her mouth. ‘I thought you might harm her in order to fulfill the dark lords pact’ her words sounded hollow and disloyal even to her own ears. Faustus placed the baby in the nearby crib and turned to her and looked at her with such disappointment that she thought she might fall down from the weight of it. ‘Zelda....’ he grasped for a second to summon the correct words ‘I trusted you, above anyone else, above sense at times, yet you treat me with such disdain. I thought we meant more to each other than that’ His hurt hit her like a wave crashing over her soul, she felt wretched. He continued ‘I mean you are one of the few people that know how I have kept prudence close, taken care of her!! So what could I have possibly done that would have led you to believe I would have ever hurt my legitimate daughter? His thin veneer of calm was so close to breaking and his voice betrayed his attempts to hid the hurt and anger behind his words! 

She could hear her heart thundering in her chest and the cascade of emotions that tore through her mixed with the sweet smell of Hilda’s concoction wafting through the air made her feel nauseous. She began to speak her tone hushed ‘I understand your devotion Faustus, I share it, and I didn’t want you to have to make that choice, to be faced with it when I thought I could just fix it for you. I never meant to hurt you I swear to Satan’ His face betrayed nothing so the beautiful witch steeled herself and carried on ‘As a member of the church of night is it not my duty to protect my high priest and his children? I have made a mistake Faustus but it was never for any other reason than to be of service to you’ The last part was a partial bite back at his use of the term when describing their ‘encounter in the parlour’ as she had come to think of it. She looked him in the eye everything seemed to slow as she awaited his response, she caught herself holding her breath praying to Satan that he would believe her (half) lie! 

He didn’t respond right away and the wait felt like an age to her, he held her gaze and then he spoke his voice was low and even ‘Had you been any normal member of my flock I could almost believe you Zelda. But you are not, you and I go far deeper than that and you know it, we have shared so much of ourselves body, mind, even spirit. All of that yet somehow you still can not be honest with me’ He took a sharp breath and quickly carried on his voice rising ‘The over a century of history we have shared is one thing but we have been sharing much more than that recently I thought we we’re finally getting somewhere I thought you felt about me the way I feel about you!!!’ He was shouting by the end of his speech and looked like he regretted admitting the last part.  
Zelda felt cornered and went on the offensive. ‘Well you never gave me any reason to believe this was anything more than sex’ she responded but she knew she was lying and she knew she had gone too far. ‘THATS your excuse and its a lie at that!’ His refreshed rage was palpable. She stepped toward him more out of instinct than anything else her blood was rushing in her ears and she could barley hear her own words ‘Faustus please you have to believe me, it is because of our..... relationship..’ she fumbled over the word as it seemed foreign to be used to describe the two of them ‘..that I have probably acted rashly. My deep desire to do whatever it takes to help you and your children and prove myself to you took over my usual good sense but I just reacted at the time!!!’ She took one more step towards him, her desire to touch him, to make him understand and forgive her was overwhelming but she didn’t touch him, not yet. ‘I’m sorry Faustus, I should have spoken to you, told you what had happened and offered to take Letitia. I should have given you a choice, what we have means everything to me and I hope I haven’t ruined that’ her voice cracked but didn’t break at the end of the sentence. She was pleading with him to understand that she did trust him, she did care for him, fuck lets be honest she loved him but that was not about to pass her lips at such a delicate time.

His anger seemed to leave him and for a moment he looked lost to her, the sudden urge to envelope him in her arms and kiss him soundly wracked through her. He looked uncertain but like he was about to steel himself against her pleas so she grasped for something to keep him close to her! Take me to confession father and deliver my penance please I deserve it! An odd look flitted across his handsome face and the anger was back. In a flash he was right in front of her and he grabbed her and backed her up against the counter the look on his face frightening her for a second yet arousing her instantly. Her breathing hitched and then he spoke his voice silky and dangerous in her ear ‘Ahhh Zelda if only it were that easy! This particular time I don’t think that’s the answer, this is not something we can erase even with our own special brand of atonement.... well at least not with that alone’ His chuckle was hollow and he let her go but brought his hand up to briefly touch her cheek, the graze of his touch causing longing and want to sizzle to every nerve end in her body unbidden. She took two rapid breaths willing him to kiss her and absolve her of the sensation that she had writhing maggots of betrayal boring into her soul but he didn’t and it was killing her.

Faustus didn’t speak but he gave her a searing look which made her feel like he was scrutinising every fibre of her being looking straight to her core, she felt exposed. His silence was driving her to the limits of her already frayed nerves and she considered speaking but he beat her to he grasped her arms as he spoke and his voice carried a hard edge ‘How can I ever trust you again, HOW can I reconcile this betrayal with our recent closeness? I should sentence you to excommunication for this and you know it, but how do I do that without revealing not only that I have a daughter but that the person I entrusted to be Night Mother to my children was the one that betrayed me? Do you know how weak that would make me look, do you even care?’ he released her from his grasp as he finished speaking. She guessed that he didn’t want a response to the questions he asked because he already knew the answers, so she remained silent. Besides that her blood had run ice cold and her throat had tightened at the suggestion of excommunication. Even though he had more or less said he wouldn’t no couldn’t do that, the mere idea of it both terrified her and broke her heart simultaneously. She had to make this right, she had to regain the trust and the favour of the High Priest. She touched his arm tentatively ‘I will do whatever it takes to fix this Faustus, I need to make things right between us’ she meant it. He pulled his arm away and looked her in the eye ‘That’s the thing though, I don’t know that there is any fixing this Zelda’ he stated it evenly but chest constricted uncomfortably at his words. 

He stepped away from her and she felt suddenly empty, he walked over to the crib that held his newly discovered child. Looking down at his daughter he spoke again ‘It appears that... Letitia is in your care Zelda... at least for now’. His gaze was steady as he appeared to drink in the sight of his Letitia and Zelda felt her heart skitter in her chest as she watched. A long shut away dream she had had when Faustus and herself had first dated back in her academy days of the two of them married with a child of their own surfaced. She grabbed the nearby counter to steady herself against the tide of sorrow and loss that crashed through her and her eyes filled with unshed tears. After what seemed an eternity Faustus looked up from his daughter and straight at Zelda his eyes stone cold and his tone clipped and business like, not at all the tone she had come to enjoy that he’d used with her recently ‘We will discuss this further on Monday, I will take the weekend to decide on a course of action. Consider yourself on house arrest until the Sister Spellman’ He took one last look at her, turned on his heels and stormed out of the house.

Zelda walked unsteadily her stomach churning to sit down at the kitchen table. What had she done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s taken me so long guys but life got CRAZY!! Part 3 is in the works and hopefully be up ASAP!!  
> I have no Beta so any grammatical and spelling mistakes all I can say is Mea culpa I guess :)  
> This has taken on a life of its own in my head, more chapters to follow which will hopefully switch POV effectively between chapters (that’s the plan anyway)

**Author's Note:**

> I have no Beta so any grammatical and spelling mistakes all I can say is Mea culpa I guess :)  
> This has taken on a life of its own in my head, more chapters to follow which will hopefully switch POV effectively between chapters (that’s the plan anyway)


End file.
